Yesterday I went to an event full of cool people. There were dim lights and cool people and pretty scarves and lots of free wine. That wasn't a sarcastic sentence because the people really were cool people. And I don't do sarcasm. Only irony. It's way cooler. There were writers and cartoonists and free wine. My incredibly cool friend pointed out how it's bizarre that mankind still hasn't figured out parenting. I stalked a cool writer and we eventually became friends and then I asked him for advice on life and death and writing. He told me that writing would kill my spirit and the world would crush my bones. Eventually all the cool people ran out and I found people my own age. Then it was a lot of loud laughter and random hand squeezing and free wine. Soon the free wine ran out so we didn't know what to do. So I dropped these people to their house and invariably ended up trying to play guitar on someone-who-I-had-just-met's bed for about two hours. Eventually things to talk about ran out so I called my friends and made them pick me up and we sat in a park and got stoned and counted the stars. I realized I had known these people for ten years and with us, nothing ever runs out. I sit on my bed sixteen hours later and I am hysterical. Not happy, only hysterical.

All I want is for someone to sit me down and tell me stories.

Jealousy is a weird thing. It can come out of anywhere and claw on your brain. Make you imagine things others have said and hate them for it.
Today I woke up annoyed with someone because of something that happened in a dream. I had a tense phone conversation with a friend, passively competing with everything she said and almost breaking down and snapping. Today I feel inadequate and angry at everyone I know.
Today is a bad day. I can feel it in my throat.