Floo-red

I hate the flu. It's not bad enough to be glamorous- watch endless TV,get take out,have hot sympathetic visitors etc. But it is bad enough to not want to do anything but lie around and look at the ceiling, eat bread sticks all day, feel pissed off, make cheese your best friend, and (a sign that I need a fix cause i'm going down) spend all your time on facebook(UGH).
I wonder what happened to an interest in books,films,music,food,news,animals,bizarre tales of love and life,and REAL people-instead of these smiling unfamiliar faces with drinks in hand glowering at me from my computer screen.

The only good thing about the influenza(apart from influenza being a coolasshit word), is the fever-drugs. 

I love this film I love this song I love this video.
It makes me want to fly.
But I'm still sitting in an english garden,waiting for the sun.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I wish the floo would floock off.

Today it took me two hours to get to college.

Oh wait, another exciting thing happened today.

I was standing in the customer care line,waiting to recharge my card...when the typical-white haired-obstinate Delhi uncle butts in asking a question on top of my head. When I told him to get in line, he told me ki 'do minute lagega'. When i told him to get in line again, he asked me if my parents hadn't taught me to respect elders. A FAVORITE quotation with middle aged morons all over the country.

When I asked him if he's teaching his kids to break lines, then he glared at me and not-so-silently waited for me to get my card recharged.

There is a word in the hindi language- dheeth. 

It is what my dog is when he has an towel/sponge/slipper/onion/piece of clothing in his mouth and despite my mother's vain attempts at chasing him around the house with a rolled up newspaper in her hand like a mad lady...he  will not let go.

dheeth, is a word perfect for everybody in this city. big,small,young,old. It doesn't matter what you try to teach them or tell them, it doesn't matter if you wave your middle finger in their face when they stare at your chest.

They will not give a flying fuck and continue to live their lives in the way they want and believe is right. 

As the metro (which btw isn't a fucking god sent blessing like it's made to be) crossed the common wealth games village I wanted to lean out and throw up over it-like it was doing on us. 

There is another word in the Hindi language- jugaad. It is a word that we, as Indians are most patriotic about. It is ridiculous and funny and unimaginable how they(you know...'them') plan to pull off an international sporting event by some last minute 'ho jaayega'.

Honestly, I don't care about the political dynamics of this whole thing, but I hate what they are doing to the city. 

When I was in class five, in my first school, every three months we had a foriegn delegation visiting. So we would wear our best Indian clothes, shower them with flowers, and be on our best behavior. It was a show we put on for these frat-type white people, trying to convince them we weren't uneducated, exotic, half-savage beasts, but one of them. This is what all this feels like.

Except, this is one hell of a large class that they have to instruct propriety into, and I don't think anyone's going to agree to walking in a straight line.

So Aamir Khan should take all his Incredible India ads and shove them wherever he thinks is best.

For REAL, fact-based, anti-state, common wealth trashing I would suggest that you take a look at what the expert professional rebels at Tehelka have to say. 

Also, this guy is amazing. Kishore Krishna from Chennai is a one member bedroom band, and his sound is crazy surreal and too awesome.

Adam and the fish eyed poets.

On his debut album Snakeism, I'm quoting somebody who told me about him, 'he's 21 man, and he's making music better than the granddaddys of rock'n'roll'

I completely agree.

Please google/reverbnation/last fm this.

.

I wish my sane delhi-brothers luck with this tragedy that has struck us and I am sure we will survive.Till then, 'samajhdar bano....ghar par raho'. Apparently this is what they've been telling us on radio. 
freakin दिमाग खराब, dude.

Fuckthisshit

Monday mornings are my least favorite events. All I want to do is to bury myself under my pillow and never come out. 
Been feeling like crap for the last few days so I don't want to write,read,work,study,work, exercise,get 'high'.
I just want to tell everyone to suck it.
please excuse the sheer shitty-ness of this blog post.
...
This is what I feel like right now.

Now I must go examine the inner workings of Iago 's twisted mind.

fun.

I wonder if google feels like shit because we only use it to get to wiki.

shit is one of my most frequently used words.

shit.

I am aware that listening to 80s pop is social suicide, but I really like this song.

This is the origin of my liking this song.




I first watched Joseph Gordon Levitt in 10 things I hate about you when I was eleven and he looked eleven, and immediately fell in love with him. And now that he has grown into a smoking hot,crazy cool,super talented young man I know that he is one of the only boys(wish I could say men) right about.


Hall and Oates, the dudes who sang the song are kind of cool. I like their high pitched super excited,happy,jumpy optimism throughout the video and the guitarists lame hair.He looks like quite an 80s stud. I also like that 'move from side to side and click' dance that my parents love to do.
Apparently they called their music 'rock and soul' and slowly faded from public view. I know nothing more  but this song makes me happy and want to dance around my room and you can never question anything that makes you feel that way.


Not so long ago,I used to write a lot of angsty teenage crap. About how my boyfriend broke up with me over a message,how I would never be able to love again,how my parents just DON'T GET ME-and how they never will,how school is such a bitch because they don't let us drink on campus(what is wrong with a bunch of kids puking all over the grounds in games period anyway,man),how we fight for justice by wearing multi-colored sneakers to school,how my inner genius doesn't need to be wasted on the world-who incidentally,also doesn't get me.


Now I know that I write too much self realization bullshit. But in my defense my life activities have gone from being drinking beer,getting stoned-doing nothing all day-and feeling cool about it,watching too much American TV and feeling like shit about it,examining the complex issue of 'where I belong' , to
obviously all of the above, but also working,studying,travelling,financial management (easily the worst), trying to figure out who and what I'm going to become, being forced into being answerable for my actions- And I am having to deal with it.
...sucks.
In of my angsty teenage crap masterpieces I said these exact words- 'Im sure Jim Morrison never went to college'.
But I guess I am going to have to settle with not being a lunatic,poetic,god-like sexy psycho.
which also,sucks.
I like to humor myself with the angsty teenage crap(s) to take away the pain of their existence.

Never having really used a camera in my whole life- I have great admiration for those who do.

These photos are taken in Gokarna by an extremely talented, beautiful  friend- Gayatri Ganju. Look on this blog for more uber-cool work. 

I must admit that she knows nothing of my photo stealing and posting.

My new resolution is to take more pictures. I do not want to end up with no hard-copy memories and maybe, there's an unknown talent lying somewhere within.

I would do anything right now for a whiff of the hills. 
Just thinking of the sound of the river, the sight of the mountains, the aroma of chai creeping in from an absurd corner on a lonely road gives me a head rush. I want to pack a bag immediately and move it.
And as I watch my Beagle puppy stare solemnly into the rainy morning sky I know he agrees.

I love this photo because the only place I want to be in the world is in that tent.
credit: phenomenal photographer Mimi Chakrabarti-who has watched me grow and taught me lots.


I don't know much about Neil Gaiman except that he is sexy, and there is something he said that I read on the New Year's eve of 2007 which never really got out of my head.


May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.


My beginner-blogger enthusiasm is funny.

Dil se Dilli

On my way to reality every morning, I curse the city I live in continuously, wondering why I can't get to my destination ONE day without supressing the urge to poke someone's eye.
Delhi has an incredible way of getting to you. It will torture you and make you want to die but just at the point where you have decided to fuckthisshit and leave forever,it will show you exactly what you love about it.
...An uber-cool bihari auto guy, the smell of khan market at night-of slow cooking food and smoke and mist,  that song that everybody outside Delhi would probably hate('abbe,woh samajhte nahi hai dude').
I have never been able to break-up with the city. We've had our problems,HUGE ones.But eventually it has roped me back in telling me that it was the only one I would ever love.


Like all Dilli vaalas I am extremely territorial about my domain. I can say whatever I want about it, but you CANNOT come from out of town and trash our turf.
Not cool,bro.
Again like all Dilli vaalas, I believe that we posess the ownership to certain things.
Mutton,black honda cities, punjabi music, hindi, Abhay Deol(maybe that's just me), Amit Trivedi and Charas('Hash' is NOT a word)


The reason I love this film so much is because it breathes Delhi in heart and soul. There is nothing about it that is not familiar,nothing about it that I need to look up, no part of it that I don't understand, no soundtrack that hasn't gate-crashed it's way into my soul.

Abhay Deol is rather hot.

I would like to repeat that if you mess with us, there will be consequences.

That is one thing about the 'Delhi-type' that you got right, dudes.

Twenty Trouble

Yes,the themes of my posts are rather recurring. Will get to writing to more relevant things soon.maybe.


I turned twenty this August. I’m not a big fan of birthdays, so by nine o clock the day before the big day, I sat down to do my ‘where is my life headed THIS year’ thinking.

The dark era of my glorious teenage life had ended. I was turning into an adult, with a job and an ATM card and a pair of keys to the house and the car(Oh yeah!) and a set of responsibilities(some self-imposed) I could not comprehend or understand. All I still wanted to do was lie around, smoke, watch pointless teen-telivision, pretend to be busy but do nothing, complain about exams but not study, and be a bum. 
I started to wonder about how this year was different from the last.
Was I more productive?better looking?smarter?more aware of err…things?

As I arrived at no answers at all, I did what any self-respecting, intelligent individual would do –

I started to drink.

And as I sat down in my computer, and listened to Brandon Boyd throw his sexy voice around in the background, through a cloud of smoke I started to see things clearly.

I decided to stop being a whiny moron and make this year-and every year to come-better than the last.

I was already behaving like an adult. Whatfuckingfun.

My friend, also known as Chunni, had me discover the miracle that is Nicholas Rodney Drake.

So leave the ways that are making you be

What you really don't want to be
Leave the ways that are making you love
What you really don't want to love.

Time has told me
You're a rare rare find
A troubled cure
For a troubled mind.


And time has told me
Not to ask for more
For some day our ocean
Will find its shore.

Still trying to figure out how to add music to my blog.Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Random ranting

I am letting go of all fear of being a horrible writer/blogger/whatever in this sea of amazing bloggers and just going for it.

This Thursday was not unlike any other. First there was college-the fucking missionary from hell itself-the place I hate more than anything or anyone I have ever loved...and then there was work-which scared me.

College is a weird place. Everyday I walk in feeling nothing, except sleepy, and I walk out feeling like crap. Not angry, not vengeful...just like shit. I don't know what it is I hate about the place. Maybe it's the constant smell of powder, or the complete absence of a male population. Waving a peace sign at all feminist theories, I would like to say that a world full of women is simply a BAD IDEA.

I joined Tehelka Three months back. My passionate loathing for college made me feel like it was more and more important to me. I often wanted to stage a 'quit,turn my phone off, get drunk- WOW what an amazingly maverick thing to do' episode but mostly I was convinced out of it by a friend and colleague or the fact that I haven’t been paid. Sitting in the smoking room surrounded by Chidambaram, painted faced Tibetan monks, a very pretty girl with an extremely pensive look from idunnowhere and various other intense Tehelka covers I began to realise the meaning of the bigger picture. 

I was nothing but a mere player in the world that is a stage.

Everyday when I felt in walking like crap because I don't have boots like that girl/I don't have a boyfriend who makes me feel 'special'/ Am i not supposed to be having more sex in college?/everyone has more friends than me/I have been working out for a year and I am STILL not as thin as that girl(again)/everyone has more friends than me - 
I would get reminded of the universe. 

Of the world of joy,sorrow,love,hatred,beauty,apathy,miracle,tragedy,revolution.I began to realize that I was born in a time and age where I could have an opinion,where I could listen to all different types of music, where I could travel everywhere in the world and as corny as it sounds- where I could make a difference. The life of a 'just turned adult' is a tough one-full of dilemmas. Everything of importance is deemed as irrelevant and we are told to 'grow up'. 

Watching Tarun Tejpal stare at me out of a poster asking me to TELL THE TRUTH, I decided that I was sick of being a rebel without a cause.Sitting around hoping I was something else or someone else was not a solution. All i could do was life MY life, in whichever way was best.

Like the absolutely divine Robert Plant sings- I would live for my dream and a pocketful of  gold. 

Here's to nothing.

OR...Everything.