The Indian middle class society is the most interesting and least generic section of the population. We struggle between aspirations and reality, impulse and opinion. The intelligent middle class is constantly having to answer to the conservative, because according to the latter, liberties of being tasteful or indulgent only belong to the rich. By contemporary middle class adults, the wealthy are treated like a different species. When I told my mother that everyone my age drinks at bars, and goes to 'discos', and it's really not a problem, she insists that it's different for 'people like them'. But people like us, we had a higher power to answer to. The supreme authority of gossiping aunties and disapproving uncles. We had to face the criticism of the saamne vaali Jain aunty who looks at me everyday with big eyes like I had just entrapped and violated her entire family. Only to knock at my door in the evening and ask for 'thodi si cheeni beta, bas woh uncle ke liye halwa banana tha.' 

Mishap number 1 on 17.04.2011

C and I were returning from Paharganj after meeting two friends and on our way to anyplace but home. A hobby of mine, which also comes naturally to me, is to get lost on roads while driving. While expressing some very important opinions on things, I jumped over a divider. Before I knew it, I had jumped over another divider. My car landed pretty hard on the ground and another stopped about a foot away from the front of my bonnet. All I could think of was to look at my passenger best friend and see if she was alright. There was a sudden crowd and hysteria that follows all accidents on Indian roads. It is everybody's business. Because I was a girl, people were sympathetic and decided I was a victim, not a predator. I was a little shaken by the entire thing but with the help of my amazing out of the world friends we managed to get out of everything, even enjoying it a little.

I drive without a license and the confidence of  head cheerleader at prom without realizing that I wasn't ALLOWED to be on the roads. I have driven drunk (even though I wasn't this time), stoned, without hands, and every single trick you name in the badass book. 

And the funny thing is, even at this time, when I had managed to break down my car in the middle of Parliamentary street almost crashing into another, there were no cops. The inefficiency of the traffic police only complimented my stupidity. A little dramatic, yes, but anything could have happened yesterday. I was the luckiest imbecile on the planet.  

I was going to write an intense, my life flashed before my eyes death-encounter post about this but all I feel right now is extremely ridiculous. I have cost my father money and caused myself shame and sheepish embarrassment. 

I am not touching the wheel again until I have been officiated by the useless powers that rest in the state. According to V, 'yeh toh Dev aur Chunni vaala scene ho gaya yaar!'. Our choice of mentor speaks our case perfectly. 

Mishap no. 2 yesterday, whatever date it was 
My friend Mohit and I decided to drink post drinking. When we got very drunk, we decided it was the worst idea in the world to stop drinking and leave. A bright thought struck us. 
Another beer? Another beer! ('Carpe Diem! Seize the night!')
I raised my hands up in the air proclaiming with confidence that money, wasn't a problem. 'Are you mad? I'll pay for everything!!'
When I looked in my wallet for proof of my wealth a spotted a crumbly hundred rupee note and no ATM card. Our waiter, though, decided that we were honest despite our explicit inadequacy and trusting in our regularity at this particular bar, decided to forgo at least thirty percent of the bill and rewarded us with a free bottle of beer(!!). So instead of feeling horrible about my carelessness, I felt blessed by this undeserved gift of free booze. Mohit decided that 'this is why we need to start a business man! To have the world at our feet!'. 


The number of belongings I have lost to the world is greater than that of Solomon's wives.
My mother says that no one will marry me(one of her many reasons) because I shall lose all their possessions, and mine, and no man will be able to trust me with their property. Her only way of scaring me into good behavior is threatening me with the fact that I will die bereft of a husband. 
Hangovers are weird. They make you feel like everything that happened between you and the alcohol was a mistake. An error of judgement. Which is why I arrive at an important conclusion every time I'm hung over.
Must not drink ever again, must only smoke pot.
Oh yes, yesterday we also decided that the only way to be a great wo/man is to commit errors. And to 'drink and talk'. 


Now I must go to college for the one purpose of my existence- to get attendance so I can actually give the exams this year. It is an education that is never going to leave us. 


I know this shouldn't essentially be a life crisis, and I am the only one who can do something about it yadayadayada but I'm just really BORED. 
I want to be....moved. Exhilarated. Like when you see or hear or eat or read or feel something really beautiful and something inside of you changes. Like how Beethoven's audience must have felt when they heard him play. Like the moment when you smell something you really like-a flower, a perfume, a food. Like the brief instance when you and a random stranger know that you're sharing the same feeling. Like the first time you were touched by someone you loved.