If you are male, read at your own risk. Or just don't.

The Sartorialist is in the process of changing my life. One of the prime fashion influences all over the world, he doesn't say that you have to be skinny or tall or have perfect skin to be beautiful. You just have to be yourself in the best way possible. It's one of the most inspiring blogs I've encountered and absolute,pure art.

I'd find it hard to believe that just any people could be this beautiful-

This girl reminds me of you, bro.

I remember the first time I discovered I was girl was when Britney wanted baby to hit her one more time. I learnt the dance and did it in my room over and over again. There was another instance when I realized that I had started having the hots for one of the Famous Five- Dick, was incidentally the one I chose. 
When you're growing up you always had to fit into being a certain type of girl. There were the mean girls, the other girls(the victims), the ones no one cares about, the victims who become mean girls, the apparent lesbians. It's ridiculous. If you were one sort of girl you immediately hated the other sort. In my school though, all the social tyranny of girl world was more inherent than on the surface.
I grew up not being one of the girls that all the boys liked and the all the girls wanted to be like, so I started to believe that those girls were stupid. If you were pretty and dressed well, you were obviously stupid. Because I was so smart, I didn't need to look good. I was above that superficial shit.
All that going to a girls college has taught me, as much as I hate it, that categories of women aren't as stiff as we make them to be.
I discovered that I like to feel pretty, and be checked out, and all my inbuilt pseudo feminism needs to go out of the window. And there's nothing stopping me from being smart, and wanting to look good at the same time.
So i went from erasing my fear of fashion (disguised by apparent contempt) to thriving in the excitement of it. I refuse to be any category of person, or woman and can only be what I feel at the exact moment that I'm in.
Which is why I have courageously decided to write this overtly cheesy, 16 year old post.
I watched both these films one after another which have aggressively ignited the 'you go girl!' inside me.

Anna Wintour is a creator of an entire world. I don't believe that fashion intends to dictate. Only guide one to finding their own form of expression.
(Anna also back in the day, dated Bob Marley. score! What mismatched perfection.)

aaaaanddd give it up for the best movie of all time!!

So totally rad.
Like Tarantino, and Shaggy, I now believe in the strength of a woman.


Favorite swagger songs:

Streets are uneven when you're down

Yesterday I went to a party filled with people from high school...tripping. I even had to chill with my mother for about half an hour during my stint with Lucy which was a little traumatic. 

My neighbor had a drop lying around, and it was mild acid. Not the kind that makes you feel like you're in a freakin animation. Thankfully I spent most of my trip(after getting the fuck out of my house) road trippin'. Delhi's chaotic beauty started coming to light(literally :D). 

At the party, I spent most of my time in smoking section with my friends knowing that we were being shunned by society. 

THESE guys I would RocknRoll high school with anytime,man.

 I have a paper to write for college but I have decided to pick my new Irvine Welsh book over Jacobean tragedy. I think I need to be somewhere new for a while to get my mojo back. Maybe someplace with the sea.

I hope that one day melancholy and the infinite sadness can produce more results and articulation.

My annoying as fuck neighbors are trying to throw out the stray dogs in my apartment colony. They claim that this isn't a place for them and they have a problem with their 'excreta'. They used that exact word. I tried to explain to them that they aren't the intruders, we are. We have come and built around their habitat, making it difficult for them to live and claiming it is ours. We have littered and polluted and they still bear with us. I would not be able to bear it if they banished my canine companions, so I put up a fight with disapproving old people much to my mother's annoyance. Also I'm pretty sure my dog is in love with one(maybe all) of them, and his heart would break as much as mine. 
This man is too cool for words. 


Prateik Babbar in Dhobi Ghat makes me want to do things I cannot disclose. 
I wish someone would design my blog.

Day is done

On the hungover happy morning of the 1st of January 2011 I made my first resolution. I said to my friends as everyone was sitting around debating theirs mindlessly- 'Bros! This year I'm going to be....smart.'.

Ironically enough, it was the stupidest thing anyone said all morning. 

At the Jaipur Literature festival, William Fiennes said that the only way to write is to record. Everything that happens to you everyday is significant, so write it down, no matter what time it is, where you are,or if you end up falling asleep on your notebook and waking up with ink on your face. 

So, last night after failing to buy his book on amazon cause of my non-possession of a credit card (Online shopping is a total farce. I have still not managed to pull off one single purchase), I remembered what he said and I went to get my journal- shrouded in a corner, looking dejected and dusty. 

Hesitatingly I opened it and with one eye covered looked at the last entry which made me cringe and laugh at the same time. 'I HATE him. but WHY can't I seem to get him out of my head. I can't believe he left me for that slut. I HATE boards i HATE my life'. 
(It was about four years back dudes, so don't judge)

Before that, about five years back was ' Today when I was coming down the stairs I ran into Ankit Jain(name changed) and he actually LOOKED at me. Also, I got highest in Geography!We're going to goa, but D and M broke up so we have to take sides so it might be weird. But the guys have begun to hang out with the A section and we(yuck) don't like it so we told them that they can't anymore. I didn't obviously, but Sukriti (name changed) did..'

Before that about six and a half years ago was 'OH MY GOD MY PEN IS SO GREEN AND SHINY LOOK! AND TODAY WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY IN SCHOOL WE PLAYED FOOTBALL WITH THE GUYS AND WE LOST BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN ANYWAYYYY. YAYYYY I LOVE SCHOOL IT RULZZZZZZZ!!! :) :)'. 

Thirteen was better. I wrote about my cousins, hide-n-seek, climbing up on the mango tree in my grandmother's house to get away and read, and the kittens in my garden.

I apologize for the preceeding paragraph of torture, but what I was trying to say is that every year I am becoming, in a nutshell, smart(er). No more crying over pretentious ex boyfriends, no more weird groups, no more 'I HATE my life', no more letting Sukriti boss you around,no more bouncing round like a tennis ball on ecstasy, no more baseless indulgence in all things trivial, no more absurd social stigma, and no more geography!! 

New years are now things I await rather than dread, with the hope that  I along with everything around me change with every coming moment, into something...better.

I also realized that I find it incredibly hard to write on paper anymore. We are a generation of writers(?) driven by thesaurus.com, google, youtube, and everyone else's virtual display of talent or otherwise, rather than the flow of the pen. 

Sir Philip Sidney said very simply, 'Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.'

But our hearts, and our minds, seem to be only on the computer screen.

Despite our constant rants of wanting to get away from the chaotic disarray of the city, Chunni and I escaped to Jaipur, another city. But chaos nowhere is as full fledged as Delhi, so it proved to be a great break. The Jaipur Literature Festival was fun, though nothing with spectacular impact. But we did go to an Irvine Welsh talk (!!). We jumped around when we saw him like hopeless fanboys and pretended that- 'usne humein dekha yaar. Phir usne smile bhi kiya. I think he likes us.'

And there's always hotel terraces,old monk and much getting stoned. We would talk about things transgressing mythologies, borders, and subjects, making connections with all and with ourselves, only not to remember absolutely nothing the next day BUT conclude that we are extremely profound(Hum kitne sahi hai). We would also grow happier with every baseless conversation- a result of a new drink and confirmation to 'hum kitne sahi hai'.

WHAT would the world be without deluded college students. 

Lalit Modi is one of the most important things that is wrong with our country. The guy is just an inside-out, absolutely unadulterated, prick.

http://www.tehelka.com/story_main48.asp?filename=Ne120211coverstory.asp

 We need to stop loving,hating or being afraid of chutiyas in power. 

I think it's time to bring out the bat-signal.

One of the things that I learnt at Tehelka, despite however cheesy a lesson it is, that being afraid is the battle lost altogether. T.Tejpal once said that 'You need to lay fear on the ground and walk all over it like it's your bitch'. 
The 'like it's your bitch' part is mine.


“What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot!”
-William Wordsworth
I can't wait to study the romantics. And the ancient Greeks. (There's some fucked up shit going on with those guys,man!)


My professor to make class more interesting told us fun facts about Jacobean society in England of the early seventeenth century - 
Rats tails were a delicacy. And every time a woman committed verbal slander, which was basically speaking at all, she had to wear an iron mask that held her tongue down in her mouth.
Fun! 
Today I watched Black Swan which was genius. Natalie Portman along with being one of the most amazing,beautiful,talented women ever is a great dancer. 
I am searching for my lost love for dancing and the feeling that you have BECOME what and how you move. 
Now I am going to zone out and listen to Aqueous transmission and Nick Drake. 
I don't think there will ever be a successful recording of an Incubus concert behind all the girls(and boys) screaming. But what else can you do when god descends.
I want wine and cupcakes and waves crashing at my door.

Lewis Carroll discovered dream inside a dream way before Chris Nolan did and I don't understand why everyone was losing it over that movie anyway. I have absolutely nothing more to say and I am sure everyone who reads here is sick of rants of excessive complaints.
This song is the ultimate best [new favorite (two) words]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cAQlDf9Vs0


Also, for everyone like me tearing their hair to find new music, http://audiomap.tuneglue.net/
Not that anyone cares,but I want to and need to and will, write soon.

Latenightsarefun

Almost done with yet another set of exams that I wish I could have done differently.
Found a new favorite song that is dedicated to all my friends. I want to get high and lie around and make baseless sentimental universal statements only to hear you all cry out in exasperation and joy. :D








The Strokes always paint me happy.

(Candid band photos are the absolute best)

You know what else is the absolute best? FoodPornDaily. 

I am not a political person, but some things go beyond being just political. I was working at Tehelka as a paid intern when I really became aware of what was happening in Kashmir.
When I was first acquainted with Zahid Rafiq, I knew there was something different about him. He was...solid. You know how you seldom meet serious people? Not serious like boring. But people who lack frivolity, lack wasted thought, they seem to have encountered an impact and always make one, they lack the baseless indulgence in trivial matters that most of us spend our heart and souls in. Zahid didn't have the callousness and self importance of most people you see everyday. I knew why, when I read THIS.
It is not a war between the government, the CRPF, the centre, Pakistan, The JKLF, the stone pelters, the moderates, the extremists, but like all wars, one between men. And as humans what we forget most of all is is what should be our first instinctive virtue. That of humanity. For Kashmir, I pray that  there is some hope and this ominous helplessness finds a solution by some miracle.


 

I also hope that the RSS gets their extremist butt kicked by the very god they claim to be defending.


How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do.